


Becoming Magnus Bane

by irisadler



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus is his own best friend, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rated Teen for Language in Later Chapters, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-15 02:42:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13603860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irisadler/pseuds/irisadler
Summary: Two weeks after Magnus awakens his dormant magic with Clary Fairchild’s help, he accidentally makes contact with an alternate version of himself from the Shadow World. Despite the many differences in their realities, Magnus finds himself turning to his Shadow World counterpart for advice, especially after Alec Lightwood asks him out. Magnus’ alternate self seems so confident and sure of himself that Magnus is inspired to get out of his comfort zone and try some new things.(This fic is from alt!Magnus’ perspective and will focus on him and his journey towards self-confidence and acceptance, as well as his developing relationship with alt!Alec. Also, I don’t know how all the things work in the Shadow World, much less the This World Inverted universe, so I’ve taken some liberties here.)Tl;dr: Who’s the best person to help atl!Magnus become more confident? Why, Magnus Bane, of course!





	1. First Contact

**Author's Note:**

> My firstborn fic finally sees the light of day!
> 
> All my thanks and love to [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com/) for insisting I write this, helping me overcome all the plot issues, and betaing this. You're the absolute best, and your relentless encouragement keeps me writing!
> 
> Takes place in 2x01. In my mind, after Alec left to track down Jace, Magnus resumed his magical workout… and then, things got weird.
> 
> Can you spot the Steven Universe reference? ;)

Magnus walked into his loft and closed the door behind him, an involuntary sigh escaping him as he leaned back against the door and took a minute to breathe and just be.

Magnus was out of practice with this magic thing. He’d already done more spell work in the last two weeks than in the previous thousand combined. He’d awakened his abilities, seen a demon, opened a portal, and gotten rid of the “malodorous monstrosity” - all for the first time in centuries. And that was just day 1!

Since then, he’d been trying to ease back into the use of his powers. He’d taken on a few small projects, helped a friend here and there, gotten back into the habit of portaling places. Today, however, had gotten a bit out of hand. Catarina had called him to the hospital because there had been a terrible car accident involving a five-year-old. Cat had been a nurse for so many years now, but some cases really got to her. Magnus could tell she felt the weight of this one, couldn’t just give up and let the little girl die without trying _everything_ at her disposal. And now that Magnus had magic again and could help, she’d asked him to come. He’d portaled over there immediately.

The sight of the little girl - Madzie - had been horrifying. Magnus could see why Cat was having such a hard time with this particular case. He wouldn’t have been able to watch her die either, particularly not while she fought so hard to cling to life. He’d joined hands with Cat, their healing spells blanketing Madzie, flowing through her, seeking out and mending all the brokenness in her body. In the end, they’d been successful. Madzie wasn’t awake yet, but the monitors showed strong vital signs and Cat’s teary eyes were hopeful.

Now, home at last, Magnus could feel the toll it had taken on him - his limbs and eyelids heavy, weariness deep in his bones - but there was still something exhilarating about being in touch with his warlock side again, the triumph of today’s endeavours sweet and heady. Power simmered under his skin, coiled and swirled inside him, achingly familiar and yet with the joyous newness of something returned after a long absence. When he’d told Clary that she’d given him back life, Magnus hadn’t been kidding. THIS was how it had once felt to be Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, and he hadn’t realised how much he’d missed it until he had it back.

Despite his exhaustion and the lateness of the hour, Magnus knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep. Not right now, at any rate. Not after everything that had happened recently, and not after today.

Magnus stood upright, groaning as he felt the soreness beginning to settle into his joints and muscles. Well, if he wasn’t going to sleep anyway, he should take this opportunity for magical self-care. He hadn’t restarted this habit yet, but it seemed his powers were here to stay, so it was probably a good idea.

Magnus headed over to the balcony, opened the doors, and stood there for a moment, breathing in the night air. The sky looked velvet soft tonight, the few stars visible despite the light pollution seeming brighter than usual, the city lights creating a vivid kaleidoscope across the horizon. He loved Brooklyn in every guise, but the borough looked especially beautiful tonight. Magnus considered conjuring himself a drink but decided against it. He would need all his concentration for his workout. It had been so long since he’d needed to cultivate his abilities in this way.

Magnus went into the bedroom and pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a worn t-shirt. If he was going to do this, he might as well be comfortable. He shrugged off his grey suit jacket and shook out the wrinkles before laying it on the end of the bed. Seated on the edge of the bed, he took off his shoes and socks, throwing the socks into the nearby laundry hamper. He stood to methodically unbutton his one and only party shirt before taking it off and laying it next to the jacket. He did the same with his dress pants, stepping out of them before folding them carefully and placing them with the other items. He put on the t-shirt and sweatpants and went back to the balcony.

Magnus breathed in deeply, feeling his magic move through his body. He released a small orange ball of energy, tossed it from hand to hand for a moment, just testing how it felt to manifest his powers again, and then began.

Magnus released energy in a controlled flow, a little at a time, moving his hands to guide the power as it ebbed and flowed. He opened the pathways and channels of his being, letting the magic permeate every nook and cranny, clear out all the dusty corners and the cobwebs, and make him anew. His hands stuttered at first, unused to the once-familiar motions, but gradually they gained confidence as he continued. Maintaining the orange sphere, Magnus released still more magic, which pulsed as it spiraled around his body, its light throwing strange shadows and reflections as it moved. He adjusted his stance for stability and coaxed his hands in more complicated patterns. It felt weird but good, like stretching muscles you haven’t used in a long time. He was gentle with himself, fully aware of the price he would pay if he didn’t hold back at first. The present stretched into endlessness, time seeming irrelevant, as he was caught up in the patterns and movement of his practice, becoming bolder as the muscle memory of centuries caught up with him. As he realised he could take it.

Suddenly, the stillness of the endless moment was broken. The orange ball between his hands shrank down into a glowing pinprick of light. It hovered there between his palms for an instant, until suddenly, it expanded in every direction, growing to a flat oval, several feet across and slightly more in length. Then it stopped, just hanging there in midair, a flat silver disc. Magnus reacted immediately, stepping back, moving into a defensive posture, hands at the ready. When nothing happened for a moment, Magnus reached out with his warlock senses, tentatively trying to ascertain something about the object before him. It took him a few moments, but he determined it was a portal, though it was unlike any portal he’d ever seen. It was clearly magical, but he couldn’t sense anything malicious or evil about it. In a weird way, it even felt familiar.

The portal crackled with static, fuzzing in and out of clarity for a moment. Then it cleared, and suddenly Magnus was staring into his own face. It was like looking into a mirror, except… not. The image in front of him was definitely Magnus Bane, but it wasn’t his reflection. The features were the same, even to his expression of wary surprise, but that was where the similarity ended. The Magnus Bane before him was… _He’s fabulous._ _There’s no other word for it,_ he thought. His hair was longer than Magnus’ own, coloured bright purple at the ends and styled in a sky-high swoop. Black winged eyeliner accentuated his golden eyes, and one ear bore a silver cuff. His eyelids shimmered pewter, and his lips were soft with balm. His hands were a story in themselves, dripping with delicate chains, adorned with rings, and tipped with midnight blue polish.

Magnus, ever plagued by awkwardness at inopportune moments, found himself envying the confidence with which the man held himself. The man’s chest was bare except for several long necklaces, beads rising and falling with his breath, faster from the magical exertion. His hands moved in subtle motions, intricate and effortlessly graceful, manipulating a blue orb of power between his palms, ready to strike if Magnus posed a threat.

Magnus stared at himself, speechless. After a moment, the Magnus in the mirror spoke.

“...Well, this is unexpected.”

Magnus barked out an involuntary laugh as he nodded. Without really intending to, he responded.

“You’re… me?”

“It would seem so,” the Magnus in the mirror replied.

Slowly, processing the idea as he spoke, Magnus said, “You’re Magnus Bane… but from another reality? Another dimension? How- How did this happen? I didn’t know anything like this was possible!”

The other Magnus replied, “I… don’t really know. I’ve never heard of such a thing before… but I am - we are - quite powerful.” As he finished speaking, he grinned. Magnus shook his head, amused and disbelieving. The expression on the other Magnus’ face was one he had never seen on his own, a smile brimming with justified confidence. Magnus felt a pang of envy in his gut. _It’s a good look on me._

Mirror Magnus continued, “Perhaps… somehow, the fact that we were both doing our practices at the same time, in the same location… Maybe that somehow connected our dimensions. What movement were you practicing?”

Magnus blinked. He’d never thought of there being other Magnus Banes in other dimensions. He knew it was possible and even likely, of course, but even after meeting another dimension’s Clary Fairchild, he’d never dreamed he might one day meet another version of himself. He reflected on what he’d been doing before the portal appeared.

“The Seventh.”

The Magnus in the mirror nodded thoughtfully, his face contorting in deep thought. “So was I. We must have synced up across dimensions, creating a rift that took the form of this portal.” He continued, his voice rising and the corners of his mouth turning up. “Do you realise what this means? We’ve done something no one has ever done - something entirely new!”

Magnus was nodding his head quickly, caught up in the other Magnus’ enthusiasm. He jumped in, “It’s a magical breakthrough!”

The other Magnus looked at him, and his face broke into a wide, mischievous grin as he said, “You know… we could have a LOT of fun with this…”

-

They talked for a long while that night, time passing in the blink of an eye. They discussed the differences in their worlds, the varying challenges they faced. They carefully experimented with the portal, setting a date and time to try again in case they lost the connection in the process. They found that, if they willed it simultaneously, they could move the portal around. They showed each other their lofts and their view of Brooklyn. Magnus introduced the other Magnus to his cats. More accurately, Magnus introduced him to the Chairman and gestured in the direction of Church, who hissed venomously at the silver oval, ears pulled back tight against his skull.

“He’s always like that,” Magnus sighed, and his counterpart snorted. Magnus turned away from Church, about to suggest they head to the kitchen, then stopped and asked, “What should I call you? It’s getting tedious calling you ‘other Magnus’ or ‘Mirror Magnus’ in my head.”

The other Magnus chuckled. “Well, that’s really up to you, I suppose. While not strictly accurate, ‘Mirror Magnus’ has a certain alliterative appeal.”

Magnus paused, adjusting to the odd sensation of hearing his own laugh. “We- we could try something like ‘Magnus Prime’...” He wasn’t sure where the idea had come from, but he felt like it fit, somehow.

The Magnus in the portal laughed again, throwing back his head, the sound full and musical and carefree. _He seems to laugh so easily._ “‘Magnus Prime.’ I like that.”

“‘Magnus Prime’ it is,” Magnus responded, letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He didn’t know why, but he found that he cared what the other Magnus - _Magnus Prime_ \- thought of him, even in trivial matters like these.

They looked at each other for a moment, a companionable silence stretching between them. Then Magnus Prime came out of his reverie. “Well, this has been delightful, but unfortunately, I have to go. Alexander will be over soon.” As he said the name, Magnus Prime’s face softened, a smile lighting up his features.

“A- Alexander?” Magnus’ voice wasn’t quite steady, despite his best efforts. He didn’t know why the idea that Magnus Prime might not be single should surprise him, given all the other differences between them, but he was caught off-guard nonetheless.

Magnus Prime looked back at him for a second, something in his eyes that Magnus didn’t understand. _Comprehension, maybe? Or empathy?_ His voice was gentle as he spoke. “A conversation for another day.”

Magnus wanted to know more about the person who made Magnus Prime look so happy, but he heard something firm in Magnus Prime’s words, a signal not to push for more just now. _There will be time later to learn about this Alexander._ He nodded to show he understood.

Magnus Prime smiled at him. “Tuesday evening, then? I’ll begin the Seventh movement at 8pm.”

“Tuesday it is,” Magnus replied, smiling back and giving Magnus Prime a somewhat awkward thumbs up. He dropped his concentration, and the portal faded out of existence. Magnus stood there for a moment, absorbing everything that had just happened, then he headed back inside to order some food. Now that the heart-pumping exhilaration of talking to Magnus Prime was fading a little, he suddenly realized he was starving.

-

Sunlight streaming into the bedroom woke Magnus. He yawned and stretched, turning over to look at the wall clock, and was surprised to see it was after 10. He never slept this late. Magnus got up and padded into to the bathroom to empty his bladder and wash his face. He buried his face in a fluffy towel to dry it, then glanced in the mirror only to be distracted by his reflection, so similar yet so different from the face he’d looked at for hours the night before.

“Did that really happen?” He wondered aloud. The whole thing was so surreal. He poked at his cheeks, pursed his lips, scrunched up his nose, watching himself in the mirror. _Unless I was hallucinating, that really happened. I made contact with myself in another dimension._ It didn’t seem real, so he tried it again, this time out loud. “I made contact with myself in another dimension. An alternate version of myself.” Magnus stood there a few minutes longer, then shook himself out of his musings and walked back into the bedroom. He selected a pair of dark grey slacks, a grey cardigan, and a black button-down shirt, laying them out on the bed. Chairman came into the room, then, and pressed himself against Magnus’ legs, meowing insistently. Magnus groaned, but couldn’t help smiling indulgently at the cat.

“All right, all right, I’ll feed you,” He said. After filling both cat bowls with the wet food he’d personally imported from France, Magnus returned to the bedroom. When he saw his outfit waiting for him on the bed, it gave him pause. _My clothes look so… drab._ Wondering if he had anything else, he rummaged through his closet. Hidden at the back, he found a raspberry button-down shirt he’d only worn once because he’d felt it was too bright. Today, however, he pulled it out, holding it up at arm’s length while he deliberated. It might not be perfect, but it was a definite improvement. _It’ll do for today,_ he thought to himself.

Magnus pulled on his clothes, then walked back into the bathroom. He reached for the gel to help smooth down his hair, then hesitated. He contemplated trying something new, something wild, like Magnus Prime’s hair, but that felt like too much. _I can’t pull that off. There’s no way!_ So, instead, he put down the gel, combed his hair, then ran his fingers through it, which made it look a bit tousled - something that would usually bother him, but today, it gave him a sense of satisfaction.

Remembering an impulse buy from a month or so ago, Magnus started rooting through the drawers of his bathroom vanity. After a few minutes of searching, he found it: a tube of mascara. He put it on the counter and stared at it. Now that he’d found it, he wasn’t sure about the idea. He reached for it, intending to put it back in the drawer, then changed his mind. _Why not? It won’t hurt to try it out. I might as well use it since I bought it._

Magnus opened the package and shook the tube. He felt the heft of it in his hand as he unscrewed the lid and pulled out the wand. He leaned close to the mirror and started applying mascara to his right eyelashes. It went on thick and dark, making him nervous, so he scraped the edge of the wand against the tube to remove the excess. The application went more smoothly after that, until he accidentally stabbed himself in the left eye with the wand. He yelped, blinking furiously and getting mascara everywhere. His eyes watering, he took a few steps to the right, reaching blindly for some tissues and nearly tripping over Chairman in the process.

It took a few minutes to sort everything out, and when Magnus’ vision fully cleared, he was sitting on the bathroom floor, holding a tissue to his eye and soothing Chairman. “You came to check on me, didn’t you?” He crooned, running his free hand over the soft fur and scratching under Chairman’s chin as the cat purred. “I’m so sorry I almost stepped on you…” Magnus wadded up the tissue and threw it in the trash can. When he looked up, he started. Church was sitting just outside the bathroom doorway, grumpy as ever, but there nonetheless. Magnus felt warmth spread through his chest. “Were you worried about me too, Church?” As he got to his feet, Magnus even dared to reach a hand towards Church, but Church hissed and fled in the blink of an eye. “Oh well. It was worth a try,” Magnus sighed.

Magnus moved back to the mirror to assess the damage. Between the watering eyes and the mascara, his face was a bit of a mess, but he found some cotton buds, cleaned himself up, and reapplied his mascara. When he was finished, he looked in the mirror and was surprised by what he saw. He looked like himself but also just a bit different, long dark lashes drawing attention to his eyes in ways he wasn’t used to. His unruly hair looked careless in a good way and the colour of the shirt was rich against his skin. His hair, his shirt, his eyes… such small changes, but as Magnus looked at himself in the mirror, he felt more magical than he had in a long, long time.


	2. Alec/Alexander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nerve wracking phone call. Second contact. Discussion of certain Lightwoods. Cats as wingmen.
> 
> Set between 2x05 and 2x06.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! I can’t promise the next chapter will be up very soon, but I can promise that it WILL be up at some point and the rest of this story WILL get written. I have many, many chapters of this AU mapped out ;)  
> Beta’d by the lovely [stupidnephilimlove](https://stupidnephilimlove.tumblr.com/), who’s one of my absolute favourite people. Check out her [fics](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephilimlove/pseuds/stupidnephilimlove%0A) here!

Today, it was a navy blue tunic in a soft, shimmery fabric - a relic from a bygone costume party - and the only pair of fitted black jeans he owned. Magnus had been trying to summon the courage to wear this tunic all week, and today was the day. Mascara had become part of the routine, and he was getting better at it, though messing up still felt like he was gouging his eye out with a blunt spoon. He’d even started using hair products to give his hair a little more texture and oomph, rather than just trying to plaster it to his head.

Magnus gave himself a considering once-over in the full-length mirror. Despite the nervousness of trying all these new things, he felt a sense of relief when he looked in the mirror these days. For so many magicless years, he was just moving through time, existing. Sure, his cardigans and slacks had been comfortable, but in a way, he felt like he’d been absorbed by the bland, shapeless, beige-and-grey knits of his wardrobe... and he was just starting to re-emerge. Now, when he looked in the mirror, he saw a sharper, more present version of himself. His evolving hairstyle seemed to gain a little more height each day. He didn’t enjoy applying mascara, but he certainly liked how it made his eyes stand out. He also had to admit that he looked good in rich, bold hues. _I might need to go shopping one of these days. I’m pretty sure I can’t keep just wearing the same three shirts forever._

Magnus thought of Magnus Prime and snorted. _I’m sure he’d be thrilled at the prospect of me going shopping. He’d probably make me a list._

Remembering it was Tuesday, Magnus drew a deep breath. Today, they’d try to create an interdimensional portal again so they could connect and talk. _I really hope it works._ If he thought about it, he’d have to admit that he was nervous to see whether Magnus Prime noticed a difference in his appearance, so he tried not to think about it too much.

Magnus was lost in thought, still staring absently at his reflection, when his phone rang. After a flurry of movement, tossing clothes around and shoving a resentful Church aside in his search, Magnus found the elusive device and picked up.

“Hello?” He said, a bit out of breath.

“Hi,” came male voice from the other end. It was a lovely voice, mellow and resonant, and it sounded vaguely familiar, but Magnus couldn’t place it.

“Yes, hello? Who is this?”

“It’s Alec - Alec Lightwood.” Magnus hesitated for a moment, trying to place the name, but Alec didn’t wait for a response.

“I got you into the Institute party last week.”

“Oh, right… thank you for that.” _The tall one. With the smile._ Magnus remembered he had essentially run away from the man and tried to find something to say to excuse that. “I, uh, I had something urgent to do. Sorry I couldn’t stay and talk.”

“I was a bit disappointed, but no matter.” Alec’s voice was warm, sincere, but with an undercurrent of something else.

Magnus felt a bit off-kilter. He didn’t know what was going on or why Alec Lightwood would be calling him, so he assumed it was for a reading. _What else could it be?_ With his magic back, he really didn’t want to spend his time on tarot cards and strangers’ fortunes, so he made a split-second decision.

“Well then, I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed again. I’m not doing any readings at the moment.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, as if Alec was taken aback.

“What? No. I was calling to ask you out.”

Magnus almost dropped the phone. He was nonplussed, shocked in a way he hadn’t been in a very long time, and he had no idea what to say.

“Uh… me?” When Magnus realised what he’d just said, he mentally smacked himself. _Ever eloquent, Bane._

“I _am_ speaking to Magnus Bane, aren’t I?” asked Alec. This time, the undercurrent was less than subtle, and even _Magnus_ \- whose latest dry spell had lasted longer than most human lifetimes - could tell Alec was flirting. _With me._

“What? Y-yes, of course,” replied Magnus.

“Oh good,” said Alec, feigning relief. “Look, Magnus, your eyes are kind, you seem like you don’t smile enough, and you wear the hell out of a suit. In short, I think you’re lovely, and I want to get to know you better. Do you want to go out sometime?” His words were flippant and spoken lightly, but his tone was serious, his voice honest.

Alec being straightforward was somehow even more intimidating than Alec flirting, and Magnus felt a bit panicked. Alec was obviously expecting an answer of some kind, but Magnus didn’t know what to say. He fumbled through his brain, trying to piece some words together into a coherent thought. Mercifully, his brain (mostly) complied.

“I, uh… I’m not… sure. Can, uh, can I let you know… later?”

“Well, I was hoping we could grab a drink today, but, uh, sure. Take all the time you need. You have my number.” For the first time, Magnus heard a hint of uncertainty in Alec’s voice. _It’s a very nice voice_ , he thought. _I wouldn’t mind hearing more of it._

“Good. Okay. Thanks- thank you, I mean. For understanding.” Magnus hoped he sounded more coherent than he felt, but he doubted it.

“Of course, Magnus.” Alec’s voice was warm in his ear, and Magnus heard the hint of a smile. “I look forward to hearing from you.”

Magnus said goodbye and hung up. He sat down heavily on the bed, shaking his head in bewilderment. Alec Lightwood wanted to go out? On a date? With him? _Well, that was... unexpected. Good thing I’m talking to Magnus Prime tonight, because I have no idea what to say to Alec._

-

By 7:30pm, Magnus was on his balcony. He’d changed into comfortable clothes and was beginning his practice, keeping an eye on the clock so he could start the Seventh movement precisely at 8.

To his relief, it worked. As the clock struck 8 and Magnus’ hands flowed into the precise patterns of the Seventh movement, the orb of magical energy between his palms expanded into the mirrorlike portal he’d first seen a week ago. A moment more and Magnus was looking into the face of Magnus Prime. They were quiet for a moment, then Magnus Prime spoke.

“We did it.” There was a weighty significance to his voice, along with a hint of wonder.

“Yes,” said Magnus, his face solemn, but his chest bursting with emotion. He understood exactly what Magnus Prime was thinking and feeling, because he was having the same experience. Even though they’d done this once already, it had felt surreal, dreamlike. The fact that they’d been able to reproduce the portal intentionally made it much more than a fluke. This might be a legitimate magical breakthrough, and if so, it would have far-reaching implications.

They stood there for a moment, just looking at each other and processing what they’d accomplished, then Magnus Prime looked at Magnus quizzically.

“You’ve done something different with your hair.”

Magnus felt the tips of his ears heating up. He hung his head a little, unable to make eye contact, and gave an awkward half-smile.

“Yeah. I’ve been, uh, trying some new things.”

Magnus Prime tilted his head to the side consideringly.

“So I see. Mascara as well?”

Magnus looked away. It felt like his ears were on fire with embarrassment. At the same time, he really wanted to talk about this, even if it was hard.

“Yes. I was… inspired after seeing you.”

Magnus Prime laughed, sounding surprised and delighted, then his face turned more serious.

“Magnus, that’s- well, that’s incredibly flattering. I’m so glad you like my look, but I hope you know that you don’t need to change. For me or anyone else.” Magnus Prime’s lips turned up in a small smile as he continued, waving his hands for emphasis. “There are who-knows-how-many Magnus Banes out there, and every one of us will be different from the rest in some way. There’s no right or wrong way to be you. To be Magnus Bane.”

Magnus felt the prickle of tears behind his eyelids, and he blinked them back.

“Thank you. I appreciate that. And I know you’re right. I think, though, that this _is_ right. For me, I mean... when I put on the mascara and wear different clothes, I feel different. Better. More like the person I used to be. Before-” He cut himself off, then continued, “More like the High Warlock of Brooklyn Magnus Bane. And maybe even someone better than I’ve ever been. Someone braver.”

Magnus Prime smiled at him, and his smile was so full of caring that Magnus almost couldn’t breathe.

“Well, then, Magnus, that is exactly what you should do. Anything that makes you feel more like yourself is worth pursuing.”

Magnus remembered his thought from this morning and laughed to himself.

“I was thinking of going shopping this week. To buy some new clothes. Do you have any thoughts on that?”

Magnus laughed aloud as Magnus Prime’s expression turned gleeful in an instant.

“ _Do I?_ Oh, my sweet summer child…” Magnus Prime shook his head in mock disappointment. “Have you got a pen?”

-

After a long discussion of clothes and hair and makeup, Magnus’ head felt like it was spinning. Magnus Prime had tried to keep it simple for him, but there were just so many options! Cut and fit and style for clothes, brand and type of makeup, techniques for applying nail polish properly (if that was something he wanted to explore), and so much more he’d never dreamed of. Together, they’d managed to compile a list that Magnus hoped he’d be able to follow. It seemed like more clothes than any one person could possibly need. _It’s fortunate that money’s no object. Perks of being a warlock, I guess._

They’d moved to their respective couches for their conversation on style and were sitting in comfortable silence.

Magnus said, “So, I... had an interesting experience this week.”

Magnus Prime sat up, his posture turning attentive, and cocked an inquisitive eyebrow at him.

“Really? Do tell.”

Magnus’s stomach fluttered with nervousness, but maybe something else too.

“Alec Lightwood called me.”

“Oh?” Magnus Prime’s face revealed nothing except a gentle curiosity. He didn’t press for details, just waited.

“He- he asked me out.” Magnus exhaled, feeling an immense sense of relief. _There. I said it._

Magnus Prime nodded slowly.

“What did you say?”

The words came out in a rush, surprising Magnus a little.

“I didn’t know what to say! I wasn’t expecting it. We’ve only met once, for about two seconds. We introduced ourselves and that was it. I basically ran away from him. Honestly, I have no idea why he’d remember me or want to go out with me. I was so flustered I just ended up asking him for time to think about it.”

Magnus Prime nodded again.

“That was probably the best way to handle it if you were caught off guard. What’s your hesitation?”

“I just don’t understand why he asked me out! It’s not like he knows me. And even if he did, why would he want to go out with _me_? I’m… just me.”

“Well, first of all, ‘just you’ happens to be the High Warlock of Brooklyn and a pretty badass magic user.”

“...That’s really just a title at this point. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Still,” said Magnus Prime firmly. “You earned it. On your own merit.”

“Yes, I suppose I did,” Magnus admitted grudgingly.

“And you’re intelligent and caring. Just look at all the Downworlders who come to you for help and advice.”

“They don’t have anywhere else to go. That’s nothing special.”

“You GIVE them a place to go, Magnus. That’s both a choice and a gift. And they value it as such.”

Magnus felt self-conscious now, and he was angry with himself for feeling that way. _How messed up am I if I can’t even hear positive things about myself from… basically myself?_

“I just. I was never- I’ve never been _like_ you. I was never the fucking… Beyoncé of warlocks, or whatever!” Magnus Prime chortled as Magnus continued, carried along on a wave of frustration and anger. “But I used to be _okay_ with myself, you know? And now… I can’t even listen to _you_ say true things about me, much less take a damn compliment!”

Magnus Prime just looked at Magnus, his eyes full of compassion. Magnus felt himself deflate, the vexation draining out of him, leaving him full of self-doubt and insecurity. He looked down at his hands.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for this. Any of this. I don’t know if I ever will be again, after… some of the things I’ve been through. At this point, I don’t know what I can bring to a relationship, especially one with someone who seems so confident and self-assured.”

Magnus Prime nodded.

“I can’t say I understand completely - we may have a lot of the same experiences, but I’m sure certain things have played out differently for you - but I certainly understand the temptation to doubt my ability to be in a relationship.”

Magnus raised his eyes, remembering his unanswered question from their last conversation.

“You and Alexander?”

“Yes.” Just one word, quietly spoken, but it carried the weight of certainty.

 _Damn him,_ Magnus thought. _All I did was say his name, and Magnus Prime looks like he won the fucking lottery._ It was true. Magnus Prime’s entire demeanour had changed when he heard the name Alexander, his features brightening and a fond smile playing on his lips. Magnus felt a pang of envy and cleared his throat, asking the question he’d been wondering all week.

“So, uh, you’re so confident and everything. Were you- did you ever feel inadequate or scared in the beginning? With Alexander?”

Magnus Prime snorted loudly, then was quiet for a moment, his face uncertain. He squared his shoulders as if preparing for something difficult and looked into Magnus’ eyes, his gaze direct.

“First of all, Magnus, you seem to think Alexander and I have been together for some time. In reality, we’re only just starting out. We haven’t even been on our first date yet.”

Magnus gaped at him.

“Really?”

Magnus Prime chuckled.

“Really. But we’re kind of… doing things out of order. And certain other things have happened that… give me reason to believe we’re going to be very happy together. There will be ups and downs, of course, but I think we’re going to make it.”

Magnus was dying of curiosity.

“What… what happened? When you say you did things out of order, what do you mean?”

Magnus Prime winked at him.

“That would be telling, wouldn’t it?”

Magnus looked at him pleadingly, and Magnus Prime relented.

“Magnus… I won’t give you specifics. I don’t want to influence your relationship with Alex- _Alec_ in any way, but I _will_ say that it was a difficult time and our situation was... complicated. Alexander was trying to do the right thing, but he made some ill-advised choices along the way. One remarkably bad one, in fact.

“And I- well, I was hurt. And scared. I felt like I wasn’t enough, and I didn’t handle any of that well. I put pressure on him to be with me, to consider my feelings in a situation that... wasn’t about me. I even used my magic to try and convince him he felt what I did.”

Magnus sucked in a breath, stunned by the admission. Magnus Prime nodded in acknowledgement.

“He _did_ have feelings for me, and in the end, it worked out. But again, I didn’t handle that situation as I should have. Thankfully, he didn’t listen to me, didn’t fall for my tactics, because that would have been a terrible start to our relationship. Instead, he went ahead stubbornly with his decision, and honestly? I was _done_. I was just going to leave him to it, but an old friend talked me into trying one last time, told me that despite everything, what I had with Alexander was worth fighting for. I just hadn’t been going about it the right way.

“So, I made one last attempt. I… showed up and let myself be seen. And Alexander chose me, but more importantly, he made the right choice for _himself_ in that moment. Which is exactly as it should have been. And even though that decision changed things between us, it was only later - last week, in fact -” Magnus Prime’s lips curve into a smile as he continues, “that we really began our journey together.”

Magnus was focused, intense, his whole being absorbed by the words Magnus Prime was saying, watching the variety of emotions flit across his face: vulnerability, guilt, shame, grief, relief, pride, and a quiet happiness.

“And now?”

“Now… there’s a lot going on. Since our world is still under constant threat of demons and… others, we don’t always get to focus on what’s going on with each other. Things are hard right now. Alexander is grieving a friend and just… dealing with some very heavy things. He’s not doing very well at the moment, but I believe it’s going to be alright. I believe _we’re_ going to be alright because we have each other. And I have a feeling we can get through just about anything as long as we face it together. Besides, I have a plan to take Alexander’s mind off things in the next few days… But that’s neither here nor there.” Magnus Prime finished, flashing a quick smile at Magnus.

Magnus Prime continued, “I can’t say for sure how things would go between you and the Alec of your world. You and I are not the same, and neither are Alec and Alexander. There is no guarantee that Alec can be to you what Alexander is to me. So, I’d say the most important question is whether or not you want to find out. Do you _want_ to get to know Alec better, wherever it may lead?”

Magnus opened his mouth to answer, then shut it again. _Do I...?_

“I’ve been so focused on not being good enough for anyone that I haven’t even asked myself that question,” he said, stunned at the realisation.

Magnus Prime chuckled, unsurprised. “Well, that would be a good place to start. Keep in mind - you shouldn’t do anything that you don’t want to do or that isn’t good for you.”

His brow furrowed, Magnus considered. He’d been too embarrassed to admit this to Magnus Prime, but he’d done some frantic googling after this morning’s astonishing phone call. Alec Lightwood, it seemed, was an event planner extraordinaire who was much in demand for his extravagantly themed parties. That much was easy to find, but Magnus had kept digging. Old YouTube videos from Alec’s martial arts events as a child. Facebook pictures with family and friends. Over the top advertisements for his business. A Twitter feed full of snark and humour. From what Magnus had been able to piece together, Alec Lightwood was exactly what he seemed: a successful, confident, intelligent, charming, witty man with impeccable taste. Not to mention astonishingly beautiful. When he thought about all he’d learned so far, Magnus found it easy to answer.

“Yes.”

Magnus Prime had been waiting patiently, letting Magnus process.

“Yes?”

Magnus lifted his chin and nodded once, decisively.

“Yes. I want to get to know Alec.”

Magnus Prime smiled, and it crinkled up the corners of his eyes.

“Well, then. It sounds like you’ve got a phone call to make.”

A breathy laugh escaped Magnus. He rubbed his suddenly sweaty palms against his thighs.

“I guess so. But can we talk a little longer first?”

Magnus Prime looked amused.

“Of course, Magnus. What do you want to talk about?”

The question spilled out in a rush of words.

“IsyourAlexanderasattractiveasAlec?”

The crinkles deepened, and then Magnus Prime was laughing, great gales of laughter sending tremors through his body. He wiped a few tears away before answering.

“It’s a problem, isn’t it? Such power and beauty. So distracting.”

“Yes! I don’t know how I’ll be able to carry on a conversation.”

And now Magnus was laughing too, partly in relief at not being mocked for his question and partly because it felt so good to share this moment with someone else who understood.

They ended up spending quite a while complaining to each other about the hotness of Alec/Alexander Lightwood in every reality. At one point, Magnus Prime described in great detail the time he happened upon a sweaty and shirtless Alexander, and Magnus had to take a break to get a glass of water. It _may_ have been mostly whiskey, but Magnus Prime didn’t judge. Eventually, though, they reluctantly prepared to sign off.

“Same time next week?” asked Magnus.

“Yes, that should work. Although, as we’ve discussed, my world still faces perils yours does not, so there may be times I’m unable to make our appointments. I think our next order of business is to find another way of communicating if such cases arise.”

“I’m sure between the two of us, we can figure it out. We are quite powerful, you know.” Magnus winked at Magnus Prime, proud of the laugh that rang out in response.

“We are indeed.” Magnus Prime smiled at Magnus. Magnus grinned back, broad and full, his face, perhaps for the first time, mirroring Magnus Prime’s almost exactly. “Until next time, then.”

“Yes,” said Magnus. And then, before he forgot, “And thank you. For listening. And for the advice. It helps. More than you could know.”

Magnus Prime’s smile was bright as he said, “Always happy to help, my dear Magnus.” He raised his hand to dismiss the portal, then stopped.

“Oh, Magnus? If Alec is anything like my Alexander, he _is_ worth it.”

Magnus smiled in return, something like hope welling up in his chest.

-

Magnus paced back and forth, his fingers twitching at his sides. He’d been doing this for ten minutes, trying to muster up the nerve to call Alec.

As he paced, his path took him too near to where Church was perched on his favourite cushion. Church glowered at him and hissed as he went past. Magnus stopped and glared right back.

“Okay, okay! I know! It’s not that easy, though!”

Magnus looked down as Chairman threaded his way through his ankles then gracefully jumped onto the couch. Chairman settled himself on a cushion next to Church and looked up at Magnus, who couldn’t help but feel the cats were ganging up on him.

_“Et tu, Brute?”_

Magnus sighed and flung himself on the couch next to the cats. He leaned his head back and took a few deep breaths. He felt an insistent nudge at his hand. _Chairman._ He automatically reached out his hand and ran it over the soft fur, smiling at Chairman’s sounds of content. A few moments later, Magnus’ eyes flew open as he felt needling claws sink into his thigh.

“ _Ow!_ Chairman, what-?” Magnus froze.

It was Church.

Church, who wouldn’t let Magnus touch him and wouldn’t come near him except for food. Church, whose responses were limited to baleful glances and spiteful hisses. Church, who loved only Ragnor (a fact that never ceased to annoy Magnus since he was the one who fed the ungrateful beast, thank you very much!).

Church was on his lap.

Of course, since this was Church, he was viciously stabbing Magnus with his claws and looking up at him as if in challenge. But just the same, Magnus couldn’t help but feel a little emotional at the sight.

And then Church dug in, and Magnus yelled.

“All right! Okay! I’ll do it! OW! STOP!”

Church retracted his claws and retreated to his cushion, looking entirely too smug.

Magnus gaped at Church. An incredulous laugh escaped him.

“Why, you- you _bastard_!”

Church turned his head and shot Magnus a menacing look.

Magnus raised his hands in surrender.

“I’m getting up! I’m getting up!”

Magnus turned to Chairman, who’d been watching the entire exchange unfazed, and gave him a kiss on the head before standing up. He went over to the kitchen island where his phone lay waiting for him. He stared at it for a second before reaching for it and pulling up the recent calls screen. He stared at the list of numbers, double and triple checking the time and date stamp to make sure he had the right number. _Come on, come on, you can do this!_

Magnus took a deep breath and tapped the number.

It rang once, twice, three times, then connected.

“Hello?”

Alec’s voice was just as pleasant as Magnus remembered.

“Hi. It’s, uh. It’s Magnus. Magnus Bane.” He winced. _Smooth, Bane._

“Magnus! So good to hear from you!” Alec sounded enthusiastic, like he’d wanted to hear Magnus’ voice more than any other sound in the world.

“Uh…” Magnus wasn’t sure what to say to that, but he tried to focus on his reason for calling. “I was calling about what you asked me. Earlier. About the date.”

“Yes?” Alec sounded a little amused, but he waited patiently.

Magnus licked his lips.

“I, uh... I want to get to know you better too.”

“Is that a yes?” Alec’s voice was hopeful, but still kind, still patient. Magnus liked that he wasn’t pushing or assuming.

“Yes.”

“Wonderful.” Warmth flooded Alec’s voice. _He sounds so happy_ , thought Magnus in wonder. _Just because I said yes._ Alec said, “What about tomorrow evening?”

Magnus’ heart sank.

“I have book club.”

Alec laughed.

“Of course you do,” he said, but it wasn’t mean spirited.

“I’m free Friday,” said Magnus, his voice rising at the end. He hated the way it sounded uncertain, almost a question.

“Friday sounds perfect.” The smile in Alec’s voice was intoxicating. _What is that smile going to do to me in person?_ wondered Magnus, a little dazed. “If you send me your address, I can pick you up. Or else we can meet somewhere, if you prefer.”

“I’ll meet you there, if that’s all right?”

Alec didn’t hesitate. “More than all right, Magnus. Honestly, I’m just feeling incredibly lucky that you said yes.” And if that wasn’t a crazy idea, Magnus didn’t know what was. _Why would Alec feel lucky? If anyone’s lucky, it’s me._ He dragged his attention back as Alec asked, “So where do you want to go? I know a place in Soho that has the best lamb kebab this side of Marrakesh.”

A little surprised by Alec’s suggestion, Magnus said, "Moroccan is one of my favourites. That sounds delightful.”

“Good.” Alec sounded _so_ pleased, and Magnus could feel his ears reddening. _It’s an awfully nice feeling to think I’m the cause of that._ Magnus recollected himself in time to realise they need to formalise the plan.

“Friday night at 8?”

“Yes. I’ll text you the address.” Alec hesitated, then, before continuing. “I’m looking forward to seeing you, Magnus.”

“Likewise, Alec.”

-

After Magnus hung up, he sagged against the island for a moment, then straightened as realization dawned. He turned to the couch, where the cats were still watching him.

“I did it. I _did_ it!”

He _may_ have done a happy dance at that point. The cats wouldn’t tell, and he’d deny it if anyone asked.

When he’d exhausted himself, he collapsed on the couch with the cats again. Chairman immediately wanted to be petted and Magnus was more than happy to oblige. Magnus stretched a hesitant finger towards Church, who promptly leapt off the couch and headed to the chair across the room. Magnus sighed. _I guess some things never change._ But as he looked over at Church, Magnus could have sworn he looked marginally less hostile than usual.

Magnus let his head fall back and closed his eyes, a smile of sheer delight spreading across his face. _I did it. I really did it. I’m going on a date with Alec Lightwood on Friday._

In that moment, his face stretched wide with a smile, his heart full of pride and excitement, Chairman’s purrs reverberating through his hand, Magnus felt infinite.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [nephilimupdates.com](http://www.nephilimupdates.com/2017/09/15/time_line_season_2/) for creating super helpful timelines of each season!
> 
> Also, I LOVE [nameless_bliss’s](http://my-nameless-bliss.tumblr.com/) series [Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things](http://archiveofourown.org/series/430711), which has similar themes.


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